I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
