she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize