is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
