You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
