I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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