I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize