I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
