I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Boobs are out for the taking
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
