she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
