Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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