I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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