considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
PANTIES FOUND
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