Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
