Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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