They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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