i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize