my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Randomize
