Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
