1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
