He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
