well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
