I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
