just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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