I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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