That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
