I hate your face
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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