lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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