I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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