erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize