I didn't shave. On purpose
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
