shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
