No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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