there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
