I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
