If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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