I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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