One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize