rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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