My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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