Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize