i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
