My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i barfeds in our rink
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize