i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
