He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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