So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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