I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
