i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
