i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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