It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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