Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
