when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
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