It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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