Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
