I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
