I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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