I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
