hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
