True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
