How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
