now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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