she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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