i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
