I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
